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Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
5
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Articles In This Section:
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
1
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
2
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
3
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
4
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
5
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
6
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
7
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Surely all of us ought to accept the fact that everyone of us has such a fair share of foibles and peculiarities, and makes so many blunders and miscalculations, that all his friends should be privileged genially to talk a little about them. Jane Austen, one of the finest people in the world, said that if she could "never relax into laughing at myself or at any other, I am sure I should be hung." But she also said, "I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good." It seems to me that there lies the secret and the norm of happy and wholesome gossip. After all, life is bad enough without making it still worse by being stuffy. I would not trust conversational rules which tended to make one stuffy either about one's self or about one's friends. If a fellow is trying to cover his galloping baldness by pulling elongated wisps of hair all the way across his head, I cannot believe that it is wrong for me and my friend to have a little fun over his foible and smile a bit at his harmless vanity. But let it be good-natured. If a person is honest with himself, he knows very well whether what he is about to gossip comes from a kind and loving heart or not. If it does not, then he ought not to say it. But if it does, then I don't think it will hurt one's absent "victim."
The truth is, a truly loving person can mention his friend's foibles in
such a way, that, while it may make people smile, it will also make them
like him more than ever. That is the great tact of the perfect
conversationalist. Charles Lamb in his essay, "Imperfect Sympathies,"
reveals the right technique for doing this. He pretends to describe and
castigate the shortcomings of the Scotch. He complains that a Scotchman's
"conversation is as a book. His affirmations have the sanctity of an oath. .
. . He stops a metaphor like a suspected person in an enemy's country," yet
somehow with every new charge we like the Scotch better. That, in all
seriousness, must be and is the effect of twitting when a greathearted
Christian and good conversationalist indulges in it. If you can do that kind
of twitting, you need not hesitate to do some of it. You would not mind that
kind about yourself. For most people, however, it is safer to confine their
gossipy comments about their absent neighbors and friends to obviously harmless, indifferent, human interest items. You will know if you are doing the right thing if more and more people will like you for it, and more particularly, if more and more people will like one another on account of your "gossiping."
A rung higher in the art of conversation but more restricted in interest is shoptalk. There is, it seems to me, much misdirected criticism of shoptalk. Actually it can represent man at his very best. When a group of philologists have a convention, what are they actually doing but having a vast "shoptalk" extending over several days? What is a teachers' convention but educational shoptalk? If a huge expenditure of time and money is justified to bring people together for such formal shoptalks, then surely informal ones are equally to be encouraged. They perform the useful function of raising the general level of knowledge and efficiency in the various trades and professions. Shoptalk is of a high plane when it gets away from personalities to the real problems —mechanical, economic, social — of the "shop." If, for example, a half-dozen nurses get together and merely talk about the characteristics and affairs of the personnel, they are staying on the low level of shop gossip. But if they talk about new techniques in hosptalization or new theories on patient-nurse relationships, theirs is shoptalk of a high and valuable kind.
Related terms include common speak and how to improve my speaking.
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