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The Background for Good Conversation - part
5
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Avocations, hobbies, sports, all these give us conversational small coin. But the gold of conversation comes from travel and observation and its jewels come from reading and thinking. The talk value of travel is too well known to need emphasis. Even newlyweds customarily realize that to start off their union with things to talk about they ought to spend what is left after the wedding ceremony on a honeymoon trip! The only trouble with travel is that it is expensive. Nevertheless, wise persons will so manage things that they get in some traveling. At a pack a day, denying oneself cigarettes, saves enough for a trip to Europe every ten years. In my own case, when most of my friends bought a car, I went to Europe for three months, and waited two more years for the car. So far I still think I chose the wiser part. Travel, especially foreign travel, is a conversational gold mine — and one ought to do it young enough to draw interest from it during a long life.
But more important than traveling is the habit of exact observation, the tendency to select significant details and to mark them. Sir Walter Scott once rode a hundred miles to note exactly what kinds and how many flowers and shrubs surrounded a cave he wanted to describe in a novel. The eye for news in the journalist is the eye for the picturesque, the exceptional, the different in the conversationalist. It isn't the mass of flowers that make for conversation but the rare one or unusually large one, or the artistic arrangement of the mass. People do not go to a circus to see calves but a two-headed calf. Whether one likes it or not, that is how God made human nature — and a good conversationalist must recognize it. He must go about observing the newsworthy things. After all, every talk is a sort of newspaper in miniature. If he reports merely the sensational but worthless, he is a police gazette; if he reports the unusual and helpful, he is a good news magazine. If in reporting the exceptional and helpful he also adds interpretation and thought, he is a literary magazine, he is in fact live literature.
All this means that a good conversationalist must see what is going on, must note what is out of the ordinary, and must try to relate it to common problems. Anything new and better is especially good conversational grist. A new way to prepare spinach, to polish a car, to attach storm windows, to get roses to grow — these are the observer's quarry and the talker's prizes. Similarly anything antique or odd, an ancient log house, a curiously twisted tree, a singularly beautiful altar, a rare old book are the conversational catches of the good observer. A good talker does not look at everything; he sees what has news value, what is interesting and worth while, and he remembers it.
The habit of exact observation is the best imaginable machine for increasing your vocabulary along with your knowledge. If you have the nose for news, you note the things you do not know. You then ask their name and use. The ease with which one can in this way learn things was brought home to me during my first trip abroad, in Spain, where among other things I wished to learn Spanish. Walking into a market to buy a vegetable I could name, I asked the attendant the name of all the others on her stand. In an astonishingly short time I had learned the names of innumerable objects in this way. I even realized in dismay that I now could name some vegetables in Spanish which I had sometimes seen here in the United States but never learned to name. Every time we note a strange thing and get its name we have added another brick to our conversational structure.
Related terms include how to speak hebrew and to improve speaking english.
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