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Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
7
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Articles In This Section:
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
1
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
2
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
3
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
4
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
5
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
6
· Gossip, Shoptalk, and Small Talk - part
7
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Your comments ought to rotate upon such a number of topics that everyone may contribute something — something he knows about, has attended, or wants to know more of. Since small talk is an art, it does not come as naturally when it is well done as it looks. A good conversationalist, before going to a party, will review in his mind some of the things he has seen, read, or heard in the past week, which might give rise to interested comments and questions. He will also try to be accurate and specific, because even small talk will best further mutual acquaintance if it contributes to everybody's information, as well as to their pleasure.
He will also tend to take a pleasant viewpoint. He will rather seem glad that he got there than upset and fatigued because he got lost on the way. If it is a public dinner, he will remark that the pie is good rather than that the soup was bad. If it is a dance, he will be glad that some of the musical numbers are good rather than critical of those which are bad. If he mentions a movie he has seen, he will stress what was interesting about it, not what was dull.
There is no room in small talk for a conversational kill-joy. If one likes nothing, one should stay home. While there is a place for an honest criticism of things, that place is not in small talk. It is not in that preliminary conversation when people are just beginning to know each other. It belongs in the "conversazione" the talk of the salon, where the talk has reached the level of ideas.
While small talk is the conversational appetizer in any party, it has also a steady place in more established relationships. Much family talk is small talk — comments on daily events and the news. It can be dull or lively. In Personality and Successful Living, Father James A. Magner aptly writes:
The stale conversation of the family dinner table, as an example, beginning with the supposition that none of the group has anything worth while to offer, ranges from the condition of the weather to the latest scandal, and then lapses into a deadly silence or breaks out into mutual vituperation — unless definite outside interests are cultivated and introduced for discussion as part of a preconceived program (p. 131).
Some families are happy in their lively small talk, others crawl through life on a bed of bromides and inanities. The secret of revitalizing small talk is bringing better information, more specific data, and greater variety to it, cultivating, as Father Magner says, "definite outside interests" and introducing them for discussion. Many a dull marriage, a bored family, a stagnating circle of friends can be given a new vitality, can be enriched, if someone starts injecting more variety and better information into the small talk.
So much for this category of conversation: gossip, shoptalk, and small talk.
Related terms include how to speak hungarian and to improve speaking english.
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