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The Do's and Don't's of Agreeable Conversation -
part 2
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Swift says that one who talks to please others, not himself, cannot have the twin faults of "impatience to interrupt others" and "uneasiness of being interrupted." Few faults are so noticeable in conversation as that of breaking in on another before he is finished. This fault has already been so lampooned that anyone guilty of it usually belatedly tries to amend matters by saying, "Pardon me, I did not mean to interrupt you before." But in fact he did interrupt. And it was probably because he was more anxious to enjoy his own ideas than to please the company. It is also true that anyone with
worthwhile ideas will constantly be tempted to break in on another. The better a potential conversationalist you are, the more you need to guard yourself against this urge.
This does not mean, however, that one may not check anyone politely who is running on interminably or who is clearly in error on a significant point. An interruption that safeguards the point under discussion is not always reprehensible. If one says, "Pardon me, John, on that last point — it seems to me you might well add that the op ponents did the same thing" or words to that effect, it generally furthers rather than hinders the conversation.
But two types of interruptions are particularly annoying and indefensible. One type is frequent at parties composed of close friends or of married couples. One starts an episode, and the other falls in with, "No, that isn't the way it was, Jack. Don't you remember . . ." whereupon he says, "You better tell it." Not infrequently, when the second continues, the first will in turn interrupt. This sort of thing is done, not over significant points, but minor details. Any interruption to correct unimportant details in anyone's account is most objectionable. But especially husbands and wives and close friends should take a mutual pledge not to cut in on each other when either relates what both of them know. If my observation is not faulty, this is a matter in which very, very many couples need a reorientation.
The other unpardonable type of interruption is that which introduces an irrelevant or new topic in the middle of another's remarks. This is a double insult. First it cheats the other of the floor, secondly it shows that the new speaker wasn't listening to the other or brushes his topic off as uninteresting. The speaker is saying that he has trouble keeping the leaves off the lawn, when another pipes up with an observation, such as, "Say, have you noticed how car prices are coming down?" A person who often does that sort of thing is not ready for polite company. If you have ever done this, I trust it was the last time.
But if anyone ever interrupts you in this irrelevant manner; remember that you are talking not to please yourself but others. Whatever you do, do not allude to the interruption. Pretend not to have noticed it and glide with the others into the new topic. If the guilty one directly offers you an apology, and requests you to continue what you were saying, accept the apology gracefully and as unobtrusively as you possibly can, and do continue what you were saying. However, it is well to recognize in the interruption a hint that your theme was not of sufficient or general interest and therefore do shorten it gracefully, if possible concluding it with an opening for the topic which constituted the interruption.
Related terms include improve english language and communication speaking.
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