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The Mechanics and Rhetoric of Conversation - part 3
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When he finished the professor said that the "speech had a fine message for an audience," but added sarcastically, "Your language, however, well! It bordered on dees, does, and dem. Hardly the way you normally talk. I'm afraid I can't exactly approve." Whereupon the hulking Irishman rose and said,
Sir, it is true that I normally do not use the language of my previous speech. But I'm a union leader, boss of hundreds of men. If I got up in front of them and spoke high and mighty as you want me to, I'd be out tomorrow. I learned to go along with the boys years ago. They understand me . . . so I'm still top man (James R. Kelley, Catholic Digest, Jan., 195°)- I suppose true etiquette of speech, in the last analysis, and the secret of success are "to go along with the boys," so that they "understand." When everybody in a locality or a situation talks a certain way, even the respected members present, then it is not wrong, and may be wise, to do likewise. What one says is a matter of principle; one may not swear just because everybody else does. But how one talks is a matter of accepted usage, not of principle, and that is the best manner which is preferred and most easily understood by one's hearers. For several years I tried heroically to pronounce aunt and ask as the dictionary preferred. I have finally given up and, retaining just a flavor of the a in arm, pronounce them almost as if they rhymed with pant and flask. If high and low in a locality say pungkin or punkin for pumpkin, it may be advisable to pronounce it that way, too. However, I would caution that when in doubt as to the policy with regard to a particular word or expression, it is best to stay on the side of the dictionary. This is especially true for professional people — priests, doctors, teachers. In language as in morals, while the larger part of mankind shrewdly tries to pull its leaders down to its own level, a smaller and better part hopes and expects that those placed higher will maintain what is thought to be the true standard. If there are such in any locality, who know and secretly prefer the dictionary usage, it is well not to disappoint them, "to let them down," as it were. However, when the dictionary allows a choice, one should unhesitatingly use the second choice if it is more adapted to one's inclination or audience. After you have made up your mind and know what is correct or preferable in matters of pronunciation, and have become properly conscious of pronunciation, you must again and again caution yourself against making others self-conscious about their pronunciation when in your presence. When others pronounce wrongfully or doubtfully, you will not advert to it pointedly. You will not interrupt the conversation, or cause embarrassment to a speaker by bringing up a point of pronunciation. You should, however, charitably and tactfully, especially if the mispronunciation is so flagrant as to lead to embarrassment sooner or later, find a way to tip the speaker off to the proper pronunciation. If someone said, "Wor-ces-ter seems to be an old town," you might after a few sentences say, "The cester in that old town the natives refer to as Wooster comes from the old Roman word castra, meaning 'fort.' "In this way you will avoid the deserved rebuke a lady tourist administered to a Californian. Pronouncing the J as in Joseph, she had spoken of visiting San Jose. He corrected, saying, "Madam, it's San Hose*. In California we pronounce the j as h." After he had given her time to recover from this correction, he asked when she visited California. She replied pointedly, "Why, I was out there in Hune and Huly."
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